


'till you make it!

by DeanCas_shapped



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eileen Leahy & Dean Winchester Friendship, Eileen Leahy centric, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, F/M, Gen, M/M, MY GIRL DESRVE SOME LOVE ALRIGHT!, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, dean calls Eileen "Eli" because I said so and the is an annoying dork that way, it's so sweet you honor, so here i guess, they are besties alright!, we have in canon shapeshifter therapist and we need to make use of that fact more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanCas_shapped/pseuds/DeanCas_shapped
Summary: with a broken-down car in a lonely road and a few of these tangled thoughts and memories.Eileen thought, not for the first time, if anything at this point can possibly fix the rest of the day.She just wants to spend a fun day out with her family, why can't the universe leave her alone for a minute!****part of#TheirLoveWasReal challengeDay 2: liminal space
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy & Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Their Love Was Real: a Destiel & Saileen Fanworks Challenge





	'till you make it!

**Author's Note:**

> day three! here we go!  
> and that's your friendly reminder that English is not my first language, this story is un-beta'd and I'm very dyslexic tired queer, so pls be gentle!

* * *

with a broken-down car in a lonely road and a few of these tangled thoughts and memories. 

Eileen thought, not for the first time, if anything at this point can possibly fix the rest of the day. 

she's running late, her car is broken in the middle of the highway and she just want to spend a day with her family.

it's really that simple, she just wants to spend a fun day out with her family, why can't the universe leave her alone for a minute! 

She pushes with the tiniest bit of extra force on the pedal again. and yet again, the car is still on its refusal to make a move forward. 

To say the least, Eileen was not amused. A notion so foreign on its own accord, because she usually is generally, and quite often genuinely, amused by most mundane things. And that's a _not_ so gentle reminder made by a fleeting thought in her brain, brings her mood considerably even more down. 

She is trying not to lose the "once cheerful mood" remains because she is supposed to spend today having fun with her family and she will not let this pace of metal junk take that away from her. 

She huffs an annoyed sigh, manages not to hit the wheel too hard with her pent up over-the-last-half-an-hour frustration, opens the car’s door and goes out towards the open hood to see if she can find if something is still loose in there. 

Having mechanic genius Dean Winchester as your  _ not quite yet  _ brother-in-law gives one you a fun ride on “basic mechanic 101” learning train with quite a few more special membership privileges. And it really was a  _ day  _ when dean sit next her at on of the library’s tables, got her a gentle drumming note _ the first note with one of the few songs they both love _ on the top of her right shoulder, a single he came up with one day with because he wanted to have just a way to say “hello” just for the two of them; “our own BFF wave, Eli! Our own zeppelin code!” he said while signing somewhat slowly as if he was trying to remember how to move his fingers with which sign. And that was another memory to roll her eyes on fondly later, but getting back to that earlier thought; Dean’s a total “papa bear” when it comes to his extended family, in which she was obviously included in even before the whole  _ not-yet-engaged-to-Sammy-Winchester _ thing and he just loves to bring the fact up at every opportunity he finds. 

So when he approached her with their own code six or so months ago to have a, much more improved, only in signs conversation about how she’s the only member of their family that he didn’t teach how to make a car work, and: 

“We gotta fix that soon Eli! You just can’t be walking around as the only Winchester who doesn’t know first thing about how to make a car ticks! We have to fix this.” 

And it was final as much as it's just so _Dean_ in a way that still makes her laugh six months later just for the simple fact that he takes no for an answer when he knows he’s right. 

She huffs again, this time in pure amusement over the fond double memory. 

After tightening up a somewhat loose bolt, she loses her grasp on thoughts spiral again. 

She’s been having a hard time deciding how or which way to move forward. Two ‘dead-and-back-again’ journeys in a span of a few months will do that to a person, she reminds herself often enough with that  _ even-for-a-regular-hunter _ bizarre fact. since she’s not quite a Winchester yet. “not yet, Sam!” as she keeps on telling her not-exactly finance. 

The talk that they had in the past couple of months more than the first brought up the word marriage in a very tentative conversion that quiet summer night of a few they had together away from everything the previous year. And kind of irritating how she still can’t find that right footing to give an answer that’s not; 

“Not yet Sam... not yet. But I’ll tell you when I’m ready!”

Because she’s not there yet and she honestly doesn't know why! Not in any complete sense of the way a person knows their feelings anyway.    
Her mind begins a new tangent of Sam’s increasingly thoughtful looks. and they did increase alright. in small portions at first, right after Cas and Dean first made their engagement known to other people other than themselves... and maybe miracle, and definitely Jack because he’s their kid after all. The looks started to turn more persisting. And it all became kind of unbearable after the wedding two months ago. The thoughtful looks, the pleading puppy-dog eyes, the trying not to sound so concerned over nothing talks. And it’s not like Sam’s not being supportive of her need to just… be for a while and have a breather away from everything they faced before they make a big, life-altering change as marriage. But the gentle way he treats her, as if she cut out of glass hurt as strongly as it’s irritating. And she was begging to hate it, not for that last session with Mia.    
She moves again around the car’s front and her mind sort of starting to play snippets of it on a loop:

“Eileen, it’s perfectly fine that you didn’t and still don’t have an answer to all the questions that are swimming into this pretty head of yours. You don’t have to find them all at once. You now get to take a step each day, one day at a time, remember! there’s absolutely no rush, the world will not end if you don’t find them soon, not anymore. And it's just okay that you’re not there yet. You need to remember that. Always remember that."

  
she tries, she really does try. 

but really what would you know?! Having a shapeshifter for a therapist who just happened to pack up ASL because they shapeshifted in their rebellious young adult year, to the one annoyed linguistic professor for “stealing” the final test’s answers, so they now have ASL and several others languages in short term memory to use whenever, put her on the right side of the convenience track for once. Or as Dean put it when mentioned Mia in front of her that first time: “and you know what Eli! ‘is just the right kind of dumb Winchester’s luck.”. 

She gets into the car again, leaves the door open and pushes that pedal again, all while half of her mind is on its way to burst into giggles because could you even believe that man?!

Could she never stop to be amazed to have Dean as her new best friend? Probably never. And it’s not because he’s the most caring person she knows, who happened to live his best life ‘mother hen’ ing them all after it all went down. But for the simple fact that he can relate to her without even the need to speak words or tell tales.

A loud smooth sound comes answering her when she pushes this time. And she smiles. 

Maybe she will make it after all. 

* * *

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> soooo, hope y'all like it okay!  
> See you tomorrow!  
> here if you wanna reblog on [Tumblr](https://ayaaisamiraclething.tumblr.com/post/643249959961018368/part-of-the-theirlovewareal-challenge)
> 
> and pls consider donating [here](https://splc.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.personalCampaign&participantID=1062)


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